medical, psychological · respect yourself · sanity · self preservation

Red Flags

As I have mentioned , or referenced earlier, there are many red flags to watch for ..or just listen to your gut because it does not lie, unlike many you may encounter in a lifetime I age I realize that many sayings that we blow off, myself included, have merit .

Trust your gut is number one ..if you meet some one and the “pick up line ” has your thought bubble immediately responding to “what a jerk”…odds are he is likely a jerk

When you meet someone , who has actively dated your sister for years ( although according to him, they never really did) and he grabs your ass in a bar , while on a date with your sister ..who might wish to question why sister did not speak to me for two years ..I told her introducing me was payback in spades .

When you are informed ” I could have purchased that , now worth 500K home for 80K , but I was worried that I would not have enough beer money ..proceed to the exit ..quickly

When you move in with someone, in a committed relationship, yet they still barhop at least 3-4 nights a week without you ..not a positive sign

When you make impromptu home stops at your SO home , during business hours ,and they are asleep , during the day due to the aforementioned bar hopping …bad sign

When they say ” Have you ever seen a match burn twice?” and you reply “”that’s not possible  and they proceed to light a match , blow it out and then stick it on your hand. You may be thinking WTF??? I was , at the time, but that abbreviation was non-existent at the time . Gentleman would put the hot match on his own hand. A true gentleman would not even think of doing that .

When you are asked “Why can’t your eyes be blue?” I happen to love my brown eyes and so apparently does Van Morrison . I never asked “Why don’t you have  a six pack” because I did . Exercise has been a vital part of my life for 44 years. If someone believes that you are “less than” don’t buy what they are selling . Do not put yourself on the clearance rack

When your mother in law ( not the warmest , or kindest  person, informs you that “he had the nicest girlfriend for five years but he treated her like Garbage..ordering her about etc ..RUN

When your father advises you that ” you are being led down the garden path” you may not know what that means but trust your dad on that

When their mother, who was as cold as Leo DiCapriono ended up at the end of Titanic) tells you that he dated a very nice girl for many years , but expected her to be a servant and wait on him..DON’T

When you pregnant with their child and they hit you ..Done. When they do that and their stands by with a smirk..double done…that is pretty twisted

Signs of gambling or alcohol addiction ? Not getting better . When your first impression is ” I don’t date alcoholics” trust yourself

When you are expected to do the “lion’s share of work” , bring in the income, take care of the house , the children when you sometimes work 7 days a week ..that is tough me on that one and you will never regret it . If you question yourself and what you have to offer please contact me.

I desire nothing more to help others

If there is anything questionable involving the Police

If you are injured..Call the Police on the spot

If there is a temper …there will always be . You do not need that as you age..your blood pressure will double .

Any ACT which you are uncomfortable with , or is intended to degrade you …twisted minds should seek like ..”.normal ” people should look for like individuals . Do not let anyone make your perform actions to “stay safe” . Take action and make sure that you are safe


Ultimately, if you are not wise and  the trusting sort was actually mentioned to me recently that I was gullible and which I responded ” Seems to have worked out well for you “. You can lose all that you value and cherish ..Do not let Happen to you ..I did  and as I stated to a therapist the other day ” When I was teenager dreaming of my future I could never have phathomed the nightmare that my life would become”



Follow Your GUT Instinct

I just finished reading a book entitled “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck ” by  Mark Manson.

It was an interesting read and there were many valid points (why sweat the small stuff?) , However I do believe that the author missed the mark ( to his credit ..he did respond to my contact via twitter)


Going out on  limb here ..I do not believe that he has ever been a woman who has been a long term victim ( and I completely dislike the  terminology of victim) of Domestic Violence(Physical, verbal, whatever)


LADIES ..if your gut instincts are screaming at you that there is a problem…then there likely is . This may become a major problem for you down the road …Do not ever disregard what your gut tells you . I married two men , who abused me..and my gut told me to walk away both times.  LIStening to yourself , unless you have a lot of insane voices talking into your head, at which juncture I suggest that you seek professional help ) Unfortunately , it is rarely those who have major issues who realize that they may , in fact, need guidance 😦


Mental Health vs NRA ??? Most individuals with mental disorders do not seek help because they are just fine and everyone else is the problem.


Domestic Violence Is Not A Joke

domestic Violence (DV) is not a joke , although many may perceive it that way . This is due , in part to the Government not being vigilant about this topic ..Please read the following article and follow up on the topic of a battered woman . and what becomes of them </a


I can inform you with a certainty that I am not the same person that I was 35 years ago , never mind 15 years ago …Being terrified whittles away at your heart and your brain ..


Am I allowed to brush my teeth, wash my hands, go to the bathroom , start the coffee as I am not sleeping at all ? Well , the answer relies on the current mood of the individual that you are dealing with …how many times have I been chastised and screamed at for the above infarctions? I can’t give you the answer to that ..when you do not feel remotely comfortable in your own home ..when you have reached out to a multitude of friends, family and Government agencies to no avail ..when you are disabled, yet attempting to take a photo of a squirrel who is digging out a potted plant because YOU have been accused of doing ( although it is not something that you would do )

When you don’t know that someone will be screaming at your door for ANY of the above ..When the phone ringing , lights popping out ..have your heart rate thumping , never mind screaming and yelling from your abuser ..enough to kill you . Please reach out to me if you are a victim . I hate to think of myself as a victim ..and you may as well ..but if your Government won’t assist you you can rest assured that I will offer you a haven and resources