There are times you may struggle with Drinking alcoholic beverages even though you may not even like them . Apparently, this is a common concept amongst Battered Wives Syndrome Your children do not believe it ….why should they ? You rarely drank ..their father was a a drunk ..I remember those jokes which were not so much a joke to me .
so marry an alcoholic and you are well on your way
Lose what matters to you most due to resentment bitterness, injury
When I met my spouse and was informed that he wanted to date me …my response was ” I don’t date alcoholics ” which I have later amended to many a therapist …but apparently I will marry one …MY Drs know and have known for many years .
When you hit a certain age and all that matters to you is your children and grandchildren, downsizing etc but your spouse is into nothing but bars , depravity , gambling . ..do my children even know or care what I have done to stay safe???? I don’t think so..nor quite frankly do I think they care..maybe 1 of 3 …I think one of three .
I have three blood grandchildren ..only one knows me and we had tons of fun together and I miss her every day …she will soon forget me because children do. My daughter has issues I can’t even begin to address . That is not carte blanche to hurt your children . Children should never be hurt. Ironically , it was the father of a step grandchild who has been the kindest to me …
I know that many have struggled with this and overcome it Six years have gone by and despite the 13 years spent in PT I think too damage has been done…
What bites you is that you have fought , long and hard ..that there are no bruises .It is all spinal cord related…a grab ..slamming on the brakes .It does not leave marks, just damage .
I worked out for 44 years . According to Drs had it not been for my physical fitness , prior and mental tenacity I should have been in a wheelchair 8 years ago and I continue to fight but I often why . My family does not care so I am alone in this . I cannot do anion of what I did three years ago.
I went through Heaven and Hell for my children but where have they been for me / Jeez just typing this exhausting ..my arms don’t really function ..
Trying to come to acceptance is difficult …will take any advice
whelp if you want anyone to destroy your life I can make a suggestion . “Piss job’s ” pardon my French outdoors in open venues . I refuse ..Either my children are really lacking in intellect or they don’t care ..at all ..Where were you A all those years your father abused your mother in front of your eyes ??? Blind
To my daughter , who promised to care for me ..I will well used to broken promises …being terrorized, traumatized etc as I am certain you are well aware ..
To m youngest , who cares the most ..the meek will inherit the earth ..something I lived by in my young years because I was quite meek and kind .
Talking to people in detox and again wondering why my children never intervened while their father is still a horrible alcoholic . I cannot even imagine someone having a more nasty , derogatory personality …
I don’t know why I protect people who don’t deserve it But I am done with that .
I never drank in my life but I became, I believe and alcoholic trying to deal with one …Don’t Make the same mistake I did..If your gut says something is off Run like Hell
I can’t state it has not been a bad weekend because it has ..Just the thought of Mother’s D ay . I gave birth to three quite successful children . , However I don’t really have any yet I do understand what they are going through ..call it the Mother Gene
I could not love anyone more than my children (okay maybe one granddaughter but she is out of my life . I don’t know the others ) Absolutely not my choice and I hope that she is okay every day of my life because I have cried a million tears for the girl who was troubled and cutting item’s up at the age of 5 (point of concern ..hell yes ) .Both of her parents tormented her and it broke my heart ..probably why they won’t speak to me..child abuse is not something I am willing to put up with ..What happened to my kind son , who became embittered and abusive?
So I wish all , who have your children intact a Happy Mother’s day . For me, it is rather a joke . I was a drop and run mom ..need me ? Here I am …always but drop me like the piece of garbage that you believe me to be..Karma is a BITCH..what goes around comes around ..I do not anticipate any good wishes from my children . un with all I did for you ..#Tucci#naldzin
I just spent several hours the phone with both Apple and Verizon because my phone, which is old and the story of my life …hand me downs . My son kept saying the phone is only a few years old..it’s you. I find that odd as I have texts there from six years ago so it is quite a bit older than that . Thank you in advance to Derek at verizon for being so kind and helpful .
It seems like I am the recipient of everyone’s hand me downs ..phone’s included ..striking out on my own finally ..with no safety net …seems my phone coverage was limited although I was not aware …alternate title drunk at my door ..and no one give s a hoot , not even one of the children I gave birth to are bright enough to realize or recognize the manipulation tossed their way ,not by me , but by the brainwashing of their father . When this was first mentioned to me I was astonished …I could not assimilate that my brain but now I see it
Sorry this blog has been interrupted by the drunk at my door …the same that crippled me and made me unable to leave the place I once considered a labor of love …then it became a gilded cage and then it became a house of horrors ..a place where I was traumatized , terrorized for over a decade and my children did not care or were not bright enough to see …All of a sudden that nurturing hardworking mother went bonkers…not so .
It is my understanding most milenials have this state of mind ..more is the pity for the future
I have suffered from sleep deprivation for many years . I believe that I have tried pretty much everything from insane amounts of melatonin (Dr recommended) to sleeping pills , sage burning , sniffing essential oils ..etc etc
Oh #Remfresh if I could only sleep 8 hours and wake up refreshed I might just be in a dream world . Same goes for #Natrol Day and Night for stress and anxiety . The day part (white pills) gave me anxiety from day one. The yeasty brown pills do seem to work the best (the night time ones) and by best I mean maybe three hours sleep with other meds.
Obviously individual results may vary . I have PTSD so that is a load of fun and games all by itself …
If you have difficulty sleeping and are in a normal situation 10mg of melatonin and 50 megs of benadryl just may do it for you .
I Recently spoke to a sleep Dr who said if you are in a traumatic situation…it’s not going to work but you will not OD on what you are taking ..whew. I googled sleepwalking at the #Mayo Clinic and three causes highlighted were were sleep deprivation, anxiety and depression…check check check
Please check with medical professional’s as this is my experience : however after bouts of sleepwalking and several years of literally 2-3 hours I feel a walking zombie
Really difficult when your comfort zone disappears
It was 38 years ago today, that I was married for the first time. I knew it was a mistake from the start …Always trust gut instincts..they may be the only thing in this life that doesn’t lie .
Two years ago …I attempted suicide …Okay I would have succeeded but that damn vodka really through me off. I was never a drinker. More so , a health and fitness freak with 30 years of medical Knowledge behind me . I knew exactly what I was doing , as the head of cardiology stated …would have been a successful suicide, had I not taken steps to prevent it .
Sometimes, oftentimes, life just does not pan out the way that you planned..or even close . Being someone who was always active , on the run and with people ..already in this typing my arms are going out and fatiguing on me. They say love and emotional health has a lot to do with physical ailments . I will assume this to have some merit because one can never judge a situation unless they are in it …at least that is my take .
Sometimes people choose to end their lives because the have a terminal disease or illness where there is no chance of a recovery . It is their preference to go out on their terms . I watched my father die a horrible death at only a few years older than I am .
It is ironic that people can be intelligent, yet not. I guess about a month my son was screaming at me that quadriplegics do more than I do . I replied “They probably have a support system or people that care” I don’t . I bore three children and was a good and encouraging mother . Short of anything illegal there is nothing that I would not have done for them because they were the loves of my life and I wanted them to have everything that I never had I always taught them to give back and pay it forward , although this philosophy has not really panned out for me .
I am not without fault…no one is ..hopefully we learn from our mistakes . My children have all turned their backs on me because of things that I have said (although with sleepwalking and narcolepsy I was often unaware of what I may have done). What boggles my mind is that they are fine with wha their father did to me . No one bothered to check with any Doctors that what I was saying was valid and true.
Who knows why we are here. I always expected t live a life of service to others , yet I struggle alone with mundane tasks . I would have to surmise in the end that I was a mother of horrific proportions. According to their dad I should have committed years ago. Ironically, I can’t find one Doctor , out of many , who finds me anything other than normal…just in a bad situation . Do we have choices or is everything predestined?