Wow …How do I begin ? Christmas was always my favorite Holiday and I tried to make it magical for my children. One of them used to say “I always knew mom was at it because the Christmas music was blasting” . That was at a time when Mondays were my day off and I was young and energetic. Those days are long gone , as are so many others.
When I was younger , when we moved to NJ , often times there was no money for gifts and I recall the year that I asked for the $1.00 paper cut out dolls from a second hand store …and I got it …along with an orange in my stocking and I was thrilled .
That I recall the year that my grandparents were with us , as was often the case, that my grandmother got a black eye wandering around in the night as she was often prone to do .
The year that I was 7 and (SPOILER ALERT) I realized that there was no Santa Clause because I went to say good night to my grandparents and all the gifts , that would be under the tree the next day, were in their bedroom . In those days gifts were not really wrapped and I was a clever child, after all .
The so many Christmas’ spent in Sleepy Hollow where my grandparents always had cracker barrel cheese and crackers and Trappist Monk wine jellies . I still picture myself there and can feel the joy and love .
When my children were young and I was up at 6am , or earlier , to light the light the fireplace and tree because I wanted to see their faces first thing . I worked a lot…Note to moms ..$$ cannot equate with time although I tried the best with what I had and I still do not think they had a clue how far I went to find just what they wanted.
To my very best Christmas memory, spent on an air bed in an empty dining room , with the person I loved most by my side .
Today , my family is scattered, or non exist ..I am disabled and don’t have a lot of time left . There is no Christmas here today . I am doing housework, or attempting to ..pain and disability have left me unable to sleep for quite some time. Merry Christmas to all and cherish what you have , for you never know when it may disappear .
Squandered Gifts 