family

And if I thought 2016 and 2017 were Bad Years …How life laughs at you

I had great hope for this year .I thought what could be worse than 2016 , 2017 or the past decade of my life .

Goes to prove how wrong you can be. Not even two weeks into the year I lost my mother , whom I had not seen in years , due to injuries that keep piling up and my inability to be of any assistance . The day she died ( guessing that I don’t mince words) it was pouring buckets and my spouse was at a party so he could not leave there to take me to see my mom. Even prior to the more significant injuries this year I could not travel or drive more than a few miles from my home . Injuries inflicted since 2013 have left me incapable of sitting , standing , arm use for extended periods ..like 15-30 minutes .

It bothers me that I was not permitted to have one personal item of my mother’s , which is slightly ironic if you have read previous blogs .

I now sit here waiting for my 4th MRI this year ..and until few weeks ago I thought I had gotten away with one .

This year I have lost further use of my duty ..any arm use or strength due to several more ‘accidental” injuries . I don’t know how someone can be so self absorbed that they don’t think Drs can put one and two together …

I have tried working out  again, dieting to no avail and it is weeks before I actually can see an orthopedist ..I torqued my already damaged left knee doing side lunges the other day so I am bed bound. Thank the powers that be that I finished Christmas shopping prior to that incident . Actually , I have no plans for Christmas so if anyone knows a family of four who would benefit from a bunch let me know . I don’t know why I continue to care about people who don’t care about me . It is far better to give back and help those in need .

And then I saw my granddaughter, love of my life for the first time in a year plus . I wish I had not because that set me back . I was attempting to forget she existed because it broke my heart so much.

Love your children but as a Dr told me many years ago ..you owe them clothing , shelter and love. I believe I scored on all three points even if they don’t recall it a their minds may have been slightly twisted by a twisted person 😦

I have ben here becoming more incapacitated by the moment , incapable of most things, like feeding my self. I cared for many but no one cares for me //Lesson learned

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